Then Again Baby You Know Me
When I await back at all the relationships that didn't work out (that I and then wanted to at the fourth dimension), I realize that in every example, there were early on warning signs that my guy gave me that could have given me some idea of the heartbreak I was going to experience if I had simply been aware of what to look for.
And so, to spare you from what happened to me, to give you the inside scoop on what you can be on the scout for, here's my listing of the warning signs that I didn't mind. Fortunately, y'all still can.
Here they are, in no particular order …
1.) He doesn't call you when he says he will.
Granted, I know that sometimes life tin get it the mode, and if he's working late on that big project with the looming deadline it'south possible that time might get away from him once in a while.
But if this happens more than than once or twice, it's a sure sign that you're just not a priority for him right now.
If a guy is actually interested in starting (or standing) a real relationship with you, you volition be on his listen, and he won't forget to phone call.
ii.) He's often late and doesn't call to permit you lot know.
I know there are lots of reasons people can run late that are across their control (traffic jam, car problems, being stuck at the role), but a quick call from his prison cell phone will put your mind at ease, and let you know that you have a few more minutes to try on that one other outfit you were withal considering.
The indicate here is nigh beingness respectful of your time – we can forgive lateness, even chronic lateness (some people just aren't adept at judging how much time something will take), simply not calling to let you know he'll be a fiddling late?
That's inexcusable and a sure sign that he's not too concerned about you.
three.) He'due south doesn't evidence up at all (and doesn't call) when yous have plans to see him.
OK ladies, unless he was (verifiably) unconscious in a hospital somewhere, getting stood up is a "i strike and you're out" offense.
There is absolutely no good reason for this (except the ane above), and if you stay with him later a maneuver like that, you'll be in for a very bumpy emotional ride that's about guaranteed to end badly.
Cell phone reception is excellent these days (unless he'due south a lumberjack working in the Peachy N Woods), and then this one is unforgivable.
4.) He has rules about how often he can see y'all.
It's ane thing to have the boys' "Wednesday Poker Dark", or something along those lines, just if he'southward simply willing to get together say, every other weekend (with the exception being a child custody state of affairs), then that's a sure sign he's keeping his options open up and yet scouring the market place for something ameliorate (at to the lowest degree in his mind – he just doesn't realize that you're the best thing going!).
5.) He knows way more about you than you know about him.
If y'all discover yourself doing all the talking during your conversations, and when y'all ask him something about himself he doesn't say much, it may be because he's hiding something or doesn't want to get too close to yous.
Many guys just aren't big talkers, simply if he hasn't told yous the details of where he works, where he grew upwards, went to school, etc., and if he gives yous vague answers when you enquire him about these specifics, then that means he's keeping you at a distance.
6.) You know fashion more about him than he knows almost you lot.
This one is the flip side to the last alert sign - if he's so decorated talking all about himself, and shows no involvement in who you are, what you similar to exercise, or what your thought of the future looks like, this should be a existent red flag.
The proficient news nigh this i is that at that place's no danger of taking information technology personally – information technology'southward all about him. Information technology has cypher to do with you – this kind of guy isn't interested in anyone – simply himself.
Steer clear (way clear).
7.) He doesn't tell anyone about you. (Read: No one knows he has a girlfriend – YOU)
If he doesn't innovate you to his friends or inquire you lot to hang out with them once in a while, go to a political party or assemble with them - that's a sure sign that he's not sure virtually the whole thing.
Of form y'all may not want to hang out with his friends much, especially if they're a group of partying bachelors, but they should at least know about you, and it should be your decision.
How they treat you when you're effectually can besides be a large tell-tale sign of how things are going or volition go – if they kind of treat you similar "aye, you're the girlfriend of the calendar month, I'll talk to yous if you can arrive past week 4", then that's a sign of what's likely to be coming adjacent.
viii.) He doesn't invite you to meet his family – ever.
Of class inviting you to come across the family is a big bargain, as information technology should be, and it doesn't happen until he feels like this thing is going somewhere.
Then that's just it – if time is starting to drag on, and he still hasn't invited you to run across his family, the likelihood is that he's having doubts nigh the human relationship.
The lesser line is that if the relationship has been going on for some time – just to put a number on it, permit's say over half-dozen months – and he hasn't invited you lot to run across his family yet, it'due south certainly time to question him about it.
If he still doesn't introduce you? Time to get-go planning your exit strategy.
nine.) He doesn't spend the holidays with you.
I know there are situations, such as when a divorced man wants to spend time with his children at the family holiday gather, just even then he tin make time for you lot either earlier or after his family time.
Anybody knows how special holidays are to us women, and if he doesn't, and then that'due south a sign of other problems (for example, non existence considerate and thoughtful regarding your feelings).
If he's just taking off on a surf vacation to Bali with his buddies over the holidays considering that's when it's less crowded, and you lot're not invited, then you're clearly a depression priority to him.
10.) He's got lots of female person friends – and makes certain y'all know this.
In my experience, "platonic" friendships are rarely, if e'er, that – there are almost always some feelings in one direction or the other.
Either the guy is secretly harboring feelings for the girl, or vice-versa. And when a guy is in a relationship, he has so much less fourth dimension to spend with his buddies – why on earth would he ever choose to spend that precious time with another woman?
Well, there are a number of reasons he might, and they all involve one deep seated result or another, and none of them are good.
And making sure you know near information technology? That's just playing games, and just some other reason to get out and find yourself an emotionally salubrious man to be in a relationship with.
11.) He doesn't tell y'all what he's doing, where he'south going, or when he'll be back.
If your guy likes to keep you guessing, at that place's a reason. This is another certain sign that he's keeping his options open.
In a healthy relationship there'south no hiding or secrets.
If he'due south not existence open and upfront about his whereabouts, so finish worrying about information technology – but move on.
12.) He doesn't talk about his plans for the hereafter with you.
I'm all for living in the moment and enjoying the "now". Only somewhen in a relationship a discussion of future plans has got to come up upwardly – otherwise you'll never know if the two of yous are sailing together or heading towards different continents.
If he's not at least occasionally talking about the future with you then chances are, in his mind, you're non in it.
13.) He lets you know he had a life without you and he still has a life without you.
I mean, sure, when you lot're first dating, it'southward interesting to hear about the places your guy has been and all of the fun times he's had with his friends.
Just if he'southward still reminiscing about his single life escapades later on your relationship has moved to the side by side level, or worse, making plans to have more of those escapades (without you), then the truth is he withal wants to be unmarried.
Let him.
14.) You feel like if yous could just modify yourself and not be and so needy, this would all work out.
This is past far the biggest warning sign of all.
If you start to experience that there's something wrong with you, or you're doing something incorrect that's causing him to pull away, and maybe if you just gave him more of the freedom he wants, and wait for him quietly, and…well, you go it.
Don't fall into this trap.
If you want a real relationship, equipped with real feelings, real caring, real consideration, and real romance, and he doesn't, so he's not the right guy for you and let him (and yourself) go.
So if y'all see any of these alarm signs, and peculiarly if you see several of them, chances are that this is not a guy that'southward looking for a real relationship right now – or at least not the kind you're looking for.
Your best bet is to walk away gracefully, with your cocky-esteem intact, and not expect dorsum.
Rather than trying to become him to alter or waiting for him to come around, endeavor focusing on you and why you're in a human relationship with someone like this. If you find yourself in this type of relationship oftentimes, which many of us do, information technology'south time for some existent soul searching to go to the root of it.
If you have admission to good counseling, take advantage of it, every bit many times this is the simply way to truthful healing. And it will be worth it in the long run, to get you by the bike of toxic relationships so you can move on to the kind of true, sustainable love that you lot desire to attract into your life.
Sometimes information technology'southward hard to see when nosotros're in information technology, but know that if you're settling for less than you deserve, there truly is someone out in that location set and waiting to give you what y'all're looking for – and to treat y'all the manner you deserve to exist treated.
It's in believing in ourselves, trusting our gut instincts and discovering who we really are and what we're really looking for, that all the other pieces of the puzzle fall into place and we notice ourselves finally getting it right and discovering the honey of our lives – the one who doesn't come with whatever crimson flags.
And you deserve zip less than that, no thing where you've been or what you've been through.
It's all out there waiting for you!
Want to learn more about bringing him in closer (instead of him pulling away)? Join our mailing list by clicking the button below, and I'll ship you my free video and E-book "iv Proven Means to Make Him ADORE Yous (Similar He'due south Never Adored Anyone Before!)"
Source: https://gettingtotruelove.com/2011/12/29/14-warning-signs-that-hes-not-that-in-to-you/
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